I love how as humans we have to make healthy things unhealthy

Like chocolate covered strawberries

Nice, but kinda kills the point of eating strawberries right ?
Aah

Summer full makes me healthy, 'cause all i wanna eat is fruit and stuff

Mmm

I did my 1 minute silence

Did everyone else ?

I like boys with cigarettes

Its gross

But theyre so damn attractive !

I want to go check out op shops for formal dresses

I found one in Vinnies today

It was gorgeousssss

>:)

Change is inescapable

And its caught up to me

A few months ago i remember reflecting on how much i'd changed

But just todau im doing it again.

Ive changed even more in the last 3 months

And im liking the person im becoming

And i like the people ive surrounded myself with

Theyre amazing ♥

Sometimes it kills me that i havent given some things to the Lord

But then it fills me with joy when i can let go of things

OMG

I have a thing for boys with cigarettes.

7 Days Without God Makes One Weak.

I can not stand girls who wear tights as pants

Like, seriously

Tights are only okay as pants if youre wearing them with a long shirt/dress

'Cause you know, that's what they're made for

And denim tights?

Oh my gosh they annoy me

Whoever invented them should be slapped in the face

Urgh.

So Mad Max 4 is gunna be filmed next year

I think it will be crap

If 3 is anything to go by

Nothing beats a 20-something Mel Gibson in leather pants
And nothing beats the Nightrider, or the line 'Cundilini Wants His Hand Back!'

Hollywood is crap.

I feel like i cant keep going

Then i pick up my bible

And life becomes amazing.

Dead Poets Society.

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute.
We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion.

I love that movie. And i love Gina for copying down that quote. For us :)

I am writing this in the hope that someone will read it and listen

There is an environment rally on Saturday at 2pm on the steps of the Opera House that i'm pretty keen to go to

I obviously need someone to come with me

Is anyone up for it ?

Please ?

Im pms'ing really bad tonight

Its scaring me

Im so frustrated/angry i want to cry.

Roses Are Red

Violets Are Blue

Fuck You Whore.

This is Renee. I haven't seen her for months and months. But she's still one of the closest people to my heart. I treasure her with everything i have and i think i'd be lost without her. I wouldn't be who i am without her, and i don't know what i'd do without her. She has a heart of gold and shes just absolutely gorgeous. She's gotten me through things that no one else even knew about and i still don't know how to thank her.

I dunno, she's amazing and she's become an even more amazing person than when i first met her. I'd be lost without her.

I have a habit of reliving old memories that hurt. Thinking of things i promised i'd never think of again. I don't know why. I wish the past would go away sometimes. I wish it would stop coming back. I wish i'd stop going to back to it.

Ive been riding dirtbikes for the last 5 or so years and i fully intend on getting my bike license next year. But sometimes i think i'm too emotional for motorbikes. All i think about when i'm on one is when i'm going to stack and how much it will hurt. I hate pain. It, along with loneliness, is my biggest fear. I've never had a broken bone. The worst injury i'v ever had was a sprained ankle in year 4. But then i think about how much fun i have when i ride, and the challenges i overcome doing it. It's also one of the only things my Dad and I do together. He puts so much effort into my riding. I wouldn't ave a dirtbike or any of my gear if it wasn't for him. He's really the greatest.

Do you ever wonder if you're the real you? Or if you're just putting a mask over you to make everyone else happy. A mask that you yourself don't even realise is there. I've been known all my life as Chrissy, and to some people most recently Chiz, but sometimes i wonder what it would be like if everyone knew me as Christine. Only one person calls me Christine, my youth leader Taua, i think thats 'cause there was two Chrissy's in our youth group when i joined and she decided i'd be the one who was called by their full name. At the same time i don't want to be known as Christine, because there's other girls at school who go by Christine. And in complete honesty I want to be different. I get irritated when other people call them Chrissy. I just want to run over to that person and remind them that I'm the only Chrissy here. And how do you tell people you want to be known by your full name? What do you just walk up to them and say 'yeah so um call me Christine from now on or i wont talk to you'? I don't like change. It scares me. I think that's why my walk with God is a bit difficult. My parents raised me to be against religion. To think it was a joke. But i kind of have them to thank, because i think without them raising me like that, i wouldn't have received God as greatly as i have.

Today i had an awesome covnersation with Michael Crafter. Who's the lead vocalist of Confession/ex vocalist of I Killed The Prom Queen (rip)/Former Big brother contestant. We only talked about Mad Max. It was awesome. I have a whole new respect for him now.

I should be writing my speech for Australian History at the moment. Maybe writing some notes for English. But instead i am sitting here listening to the Beatles, reading up on Pripyat/The Chernobyl disaster. I don't know why destruction interests me so much. Or more, why people create destruction. I like to research 'monsters' extensively, to try and gain some sort of insight into why, why did they create such destruction? Or, in Hitler's case, why did he murder millions of people?

Because he was a monster is what most people would say, yes? I suppose so. But he was a brilliant one at that. The way he spoke, convinced everyone to believe in his views. He was still a bit of a psycho though.

I think it is because of my interest in why people create destruction that I want to become a psychologist. I like learning, challenging myself. Sometimes.

I have a strange mind. It confuses me. I feel like i'm too level headed sometimes. I like doing things the right way. I like doing things my way though at the same time. I like sitting by myself and not thinking, just listening to music. Staring at an inanimate object. I think i would make an awesome stoner. Though i highly doubt i could ever become one.

I really hate this weather. I want summer. I am too white for even my liking. It's scary. I want to finish school and spend the day sitting in the sun, maybe reading a book, and then spending the night in a random park with some awesome people. I like summer nights. I can't wait for January, it's my favourite. We spend so much time away from home, on the coast, in the country. It's magnificent. I want to try and convince my Dad to let me bring someone down the coast this year. He will probably use the 'but it's not our house' argument again. I wonder if he'd say yes though. I wonder who i'd take. I consider so many of my friends best friends that it's difficult deciding on one. And then there's the matter of the fact that 98% of my friends parents are extremely strict. I'll work it out though.

My minds gone blank now. I think i'll go make some lunch :)

Bit of a genre change for me, but im really diggin this band.

Hey Hey Its Saturday incident.

So if anyone watched Hey Hey It's Saturday last night and saw Red Faces, or if anyone has watched the news today, you'd all know about the Jackson Jive skit and Harry Conick Jr's reaction.

In my honest opinion, i couldn't care less about it. I understand where he's coming from, and his view point, but we're in Australia, not America. We're laid back here, it was a skit that was supposed to be taken light heartedly, and it wasn't performed by a bunch of drunken bogans from the local pub. The men who performed the skit are all doctors for crying out loud, it's not like they're complete idiots.

I mean, yeah if it were America it probably would've started a riot, but again, this isn't America! Get over it. It's not that hard to change the channel if you're offended by it when it begins.

My aunty ordered this necklace for me 4 weeks ago

It should be here by now

But it got back ordered

Im so frustrated

I want it so badddddddd

Aaargh

oh, body issues are fun aren't they.

Sometimes i feel like my efforts aren't enough. Sometimes i feel like they're too much.

Life is difficult.

Nothing's ever easy.

I wish it was.

But then, in a way, i don't. Because its difficulty that truly makes us the people we are.

It's challenges we overcome, persevere through that shape us.

Life is so confusing.

Ahh grand final night is upon us again. One of the best games of the year. And the last one which sucks. My team didnt make it. Which is shit. But they smashed the bulldogs on their last game which is nice :)

The eels and the storm are going against each other for the grand final. I am going for the eels. Purely for the fact that im from Sydney. And also because my cousin might smash me if i dont. I think though, that the storm might win. Mainly because of the season theyve had and their players.

But yeah.

Should be a good game.

Seasons

I remember just after I gave my life to the Lord, i was having a really difficult time with my faith. And after a few weeks i went to my youth leader, Taua, who is absolutely amazing, and i told her what i'd been going through and she explained to me about seasons in God, and she explained how they're not like seasons of the world. And i also figured out that i'd been going through a dry season, or winter.

Anyway, about 7 months ago i started going through another dry season. I stopped going to youth for a couple months, stopped reading my word, barely prayed etc.

And then last night at youth, it broke. During worship. I was so happy i cried. The power of God is amazing, how it can make you feel.

Last night also hit me hard. The preaching. But i love it when sermons hurt you, touch something inside you that you don't want to be touched. Because it's these that make you realise what you need to do to change, to better yourself.

I still have a long way to go, but i know im on the right path now.

I seriously want to marry bob dylan

i wish i lived in the 60's :(

I am now officially a music news writer :D

Thanks to killyourstereo.com who were recently looking for volunteers to write news articles

They added me to admin this afternoon

And i posted my first bit of news about 10 minutes ago

go check it :

http://www.killyourstereo.com/news/4675/rammstein-controversial-new-video/

and tell me if its good or not :D

Drunken words speak sober thoughts.

So today is my Dad's 39th birthday and last night he had his party. I went out last night so by the time i got home everyone that was still here was well and truly smashed. At about midnight i was sitting down in front of the fire listening to my mum and my brother arguing, like they do when they drink. And Matt, who's like practically family, came and sat down next to me and started talking to me. And the stuff he was asking me, like about my mum and my brother and family in general, really made me think. And realise. It's strange how it takes an outsider to show you what you're really like, why you do things. Why you work hard, don't work hard, strive to reach your goals, flunk out, etc. And it's even stranger the fact that he was trashed. So i guess the phrase drunken words speak sober thoughts really does mean something. It's not just one of those old sayings that means nothing in this day and age.

I also realised how much i love the fact that we have family friends like Matt and Greg and their families, because they do so much for us. And me. Greg's the one that taught me to ride dirtbikes, and he's given me a few driving lessons. Matt taught to use an overhead fishing reel, and catch Sharks out at sea.

Without outsiders, strangers, family friends, none of us would probably be the people are. I know i wouldn't.

Freedom.

So i've been thinking lately. I don't know why. Exams are done with for the next month or so. But life in general. Especially my family.

My parents have started giving me so much freedom the last couple of months. its confusing me. mind you i'm not challenging it, i just feel kinda guilty. Like, i haven't done anything to deserve being allowed to, like for example, catch a train from Milson's Point to Liverpool at 11.00 at night and then catch a taxi home by myself. But i love my parents. They're so awesome. I have so much in common with them. My Dad and I dance, head bang, sing, laugh, work together. My mum and I shop, sing, clean, watch tv, read and gosh i dunno. I just do so much with them. My Dads selling his dirtbike soon (which is like his pride and joy, besides his Harley Davidson of course) so he can get me a bigger dirtbike. 'Cause i've outgrown my little 200cc. And he's buying me my first roadbike, which if he gets his way will cost about 6k. The other week my mum spent like 200$ on me just 'cause i asked for a couple new dresses, which were like $20 each. And it's like, why?! I've never been one to ask for stuff, i make do with what i have. I don't come from a loaded family, we rarely have much money left for spending anyway. But thats what happens when both your parents work for TAFE huh. I hate accepting things off other people. Like when i go to someones house, i don't like accepting food or a drink even if im starving or dehydrated.

Life is strange in that sense.

My relationship with God is getting stronger lately though. And i have people like Lillian to thank for that. She's such an inspiration. Just the way she carries herself and lives everyday for God. I don't know what i'd do if it wasn't for her. Even if she doesn't directly realise how much she helps me. Though on that note i'm also going through a bit of a dry season. Which is killing me. Seasons are so annoying. No. Dry seasons are annoying. I've just been so stressed. I've been neglecting my faith. I need a new bible too. One with a meta cover. You know those pretty ones? yeah.

But, i think that's enough blogging for now.

I will continue this tomorrow. Because i have a fair bit more to type.

I need sleep and a good book :)

Hallelujah

Bob Dylan. His cover of Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) is so good. His voice is so passionate. And ah. Sends chills down my spine.

Definately worth youtubing if you havent heard it <3

This morning my dad made me stay home 'cause of the dust, yeah. And i didnt go back to sleep cause i was already awake and all so i watched a bit of the tele and came on the computerr and then i got bored so i made muffins (which are great by the way). But then i was super bored so i decided to watch a dvd. I was gunna watch Atonement but then i decided to watch The Crow cause my mum bought it on the weekend and said i'd really like it. And my gosh she was right. Its such a good movie. I even cried at the end, and i dont think its a movie youre supposed to cry in. Well, not the audience it was originally intended for anyway. I think. But oh my gosh. I cant get over how good it was. Brandon Lee is so good in it too. And i find him oddly attractive. In a weird, dead goth kinda way, y'know ? But yeah. I definately think you should all go out and buy it! Its like $15 or something at Big W.

Oh! And a week ago i posted a tiny tiny blog telling you's all how i got an email that i was really excited about and i thought you should be too. Yeah well i still haven't got a reply to my reply and it's starting to really frustrate me. Aaargh. But oh well. If its not here by next Wednesday i'm gunna forget about it.

Peace out homies!

No need to go visit Mars anymore

Not after waking up to this. Well, not the harbour bridge, but yknow, the dust storm. Omgsh it was so exciting. Never seen/been in a dust storm before. And i got the day off too. Mum & dad forced me to stay home. I didnt complain :D

Its pretty much gone now. My neighbours car has dust all over it. Pretty awesome aye.

Omnomnomnom

Seriously. We should get married. And have little epic blue eyed children. Omgsh.

Sup.

New obsessions are great.

Tomorrow is the International Day of Peace

I wonder if people will stop killing each other just for one day?

I love this. I want this.

Falling Whistles

I learnt about this site merely by coincidence. Im not even sure how i came across it to be completely honest. But it's a site i think everyone needs to see. Its alot like Invisible Children (which, if you havent heard of, you should also definately check out). Their main aim is to protect children from the ravages of war. But in Congo.

The story behind the foundation is about a man who goes to congo to give shoes to children, and meets a woman who shows him children in a camp. All the children in the camp were snatched from their homes, their families, their lives. The eldest is 15. They are trained to be soldiers. The conditions in which they are forced to live is absolutely horrific. There is no sanitation. They are constantly beaten, raped. I'll admit it took me ages to read through the site, mainly because i was crying.

The story hit a raw nerve. My dream is to go and help less fortunate kids when i leave school. To help. Make a difference. But until then all i can do is support organisations like this one, like Invisible Children.

The name Falling Whistles is derived from the fact that the youngest of the 'soldiers' are forced to be in the front line of battle, with nothing but whistles, to 'ward off the enemy'. Obviously we all know that won't work. So do the children. All they are is bullet bags. They're there in the hope that they will cop all the bullets instead of the men. Who actally have guns.

It is because of this that one of the main ways to support the organisation is to buy a whistle necklace. All proceeds go to freeing children in Congo.

I honestly hope that alot of people try and help this cause. The necklaces are $30US or $40US. Depending which one. But its worth it. And plus, what are you gunna spend that money on anyway? Maccas? Id rather have freedom, my family, and my life anyday.

http://www.fallingwhistles.com/

P.S. I am going to repost this every few days or so. Just 'cause i constantly want it on my site.

Memes are awesome.