I didnt go today

I told him it was because i had school stuff to do
Which is true
But i could have done that tonight
The truth is i didnt want to go
I know i know, 2 days ago i was all for it

I dunno

Confusing boys are confusing.

Im going on a date on Wednesday

Well its not a date. Well. I dont even know. I think it is to him.
I dont think its going to end well. Us i mean.
But i think im going to go along for the ride just to see.
I mean, how do i know it'll end badly?

I dont understand the saying "Ignorance Is Bliss"

Nor do I understand why people think its so true
It's not good to be ignorant

Not in todays society
Ignorance wont get you a job, a house, a nice car, food to eat
It wont get you anywhere

Why is it so cool to be so fucking stupid these days?

The amount of girls I've argued with over stupid little things and gotten myself worked up over when I know they have no idea what they're talking about
There is no point arguing with an ignorant person.

I still do though
I think I like proving to myself that I'm not stupid.

I dont know what i want out of life anymore.

6 months ago i was the good little Christian girl with the strong morals and high hopes
Now i just don't know anymore
I've been let down a shit load the last few months and it's just ruined me.
I haven't prayed or picked up my bible since the end of December
And i don't even care

6 months ago I would have been dying
My self esteem is absolutely rubbish/does not even exist. I hate my body and i have a shit personality.
I still plan to go to University and study psychology. Maybe i can figure myself out yeah?
I want out. Im just sick of shit.

2010

So this is my first post since the end of November
My first post of the year
I have 3 new years resolutions this year
And i haven't started on any of them
One i really need to, soon. Otherwise i wont be offered what i was promised at the end of the year
I dont know if i want it though
Ive been in alot of places and i can deal with that, but i dont know if i can help anyone through things i havent been through
Far out
I also have attitude problems i need to sort out to do it
And thats gunna be really difficult.
Ah
But thats what resolutions are for right?
Changing? Improving? Bettering yourself?
I hope i can do this.