Do you ever wonder if you're the real you? Or if you're just putting a mask over you to make everyone else happy. A mask that you yourself don't even realise is there. I've been known all my life as Chrissy, and to some people most recently Chiz, but sometimes i wonder what it would be like if everyone knew me as Christine. Only one person calls me Christine, my youth leader Taua, i think thats 'cause there was two Chrissy's in our youth group when i joined and she decided i'd be the one who was called by their full name. At the same time i don't want to be known as Christine, because there's other girls at school who go by Christine. And in complete honesty I want to be different. I get irritated when other people call them Chrissy. I just want to run over to that person and remind them that I'm the only Chrissy here. And how do you tell people you want to be known by your full name? What do you just walk up to them and say 'yeah so um call me Christine from now on or i wont talk to you'? I don't like change. It scares me. I think that's why my walk with God is a bit difficult. My parents raised me to be against religion. To think it was a joke. But i kind of have them to thank, because i think without them raising me like that, i wouldn't have received God as greatly as i have.